Thoughts aren’t reality, Thoughts are mind analysis

The Drops of Prange

It’s been a while since the last post I done in my old blog… Starting a fresh with a new blog area could realli be a small step out that I could do… For me, writing out or typing out could be a better method for me to pour things better than to say them out… I do pour to one or two ppl, but after awhile I’ll start keeping things to myself till my mind becomes so heavy pressuring myself with all the unnecessary thoughts and worries or maybe even stress that I could have created out through the long journey that I had accumulated while in deep thoughts… To be on my own or to shut myself with music without any disturbance could be a bad thing for me, that where every single thoughts and worries were created and born… Though to be honest, my language isn’t that great after all… Still, its still my best constant method that I will pour things out honestly…
Recently, things becomes much simpler for me… Dunno should I be glad or to be upset about… For months or even years that I recent starts to put things down bit by bit… and these are the matters or maybe I should term it more appropriately with words like “Guilty Thoughts” and “良心” … Having many people said that I push myself too hard, pushing myself with all the blames… but yet my veri closest friend didn’t said so… Though the two of us hasn’t been best friends very long just purely 2 years, yet hurt after one year still hurts me when I think back… Sometimes I really wonder why we 2 must end up like this… Haiz, its already the past… I myself also find quite hard to get into any close best friend, when I mention close its realli veri close… I go all the way out to help them… 3 4 best friends matters, hurt me dunno like until wad state… Every time, when I end one friendship, I take a few years to recover… To be trust someone that you never seen b4, rather than ur best friend, this sentence rang in my mind for countless time… Each thought carries along with a word “Hurt”, without failed, my chest feel some heavy bang against me and sat there unwilling to leave till 1 or 2 hours gone…

~ by Shiruetto on April 9, 2008.

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